Section IV: Relationships
Perhaps not surprisingly, the section on Relationships is one of the longest in the book. The concept of trust alone gets three chapters, beginning with a core account of how trust and distrust work, and proceeding next to an analysis of how trust, once broken, may be repaired. This, however, is not always possible, and the third chapter is a trenchant analysis of what you can do in an environment where trust is impossible.
Trust is, of course, related to reputation. How a reputation is formed and why a trustworthy reputation is important, in far more settings than is commonly believed, are the subjects of the next chapter. Naturally, human beings being what they are, the effort to maintain a good reputation is sometimes going to involve making an apology, the subject of the following chapter; and perhaps if the apology is effective, forgiveness and reconciliation will follow, as they do in our book.
Of course, good negotiators are strategic animals, and it should not be surprising that there is a strategic element in building relationships—the subject of the next chapter. It may, however, be surprising to some that the need to strategize can become very long-range indeed. The final chapter of this section discusses why people increasingly must think not just about contemporary needs, but about how to ensure fairness, and their own reputation, over generations.
15. Trust and Distrust
Roy Lewicki
Can you both trust and distrust the other side? In fact, we often do exactly that. Lewicki provides practical advice on dealing with trust and distrust in each interaction. Of particular importance to negotiators facing troubled relationships, this chapter shows how distrust is not merely a mirror image of trust: it actually works quite differently. Effective negotiators must learn both to build trust and to manage distrust. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Tinsley, Cambria and Schneider on Reputations; Lewicki’s chapter on Repairing Trust; and Cristal on No Trust.
16. Repairing Trust
Roy Lewicki
Of course trust is important to build, and maintain. Yet inevitably, trust is sometimes violated. Here, Lewicki analyzes what happens in the wake of a trust violation, and offers prescriptions for a meaningful attempt to rebuild it. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Tinsley, Cambria and Schneider on Reputations; Lewicki’s chapter on Trust and Cristal’s on No Trust.
17. Negotiating in a Low-to-No Trust Environment
Moty Cristal
In the final chapter of our trilogy on trust, its development and repair, a "pracademic" with significant experience of high stakes conflicts assesses situations where it is not practicable even to try to build or rebuild trust—and yet a deal must be made, whether with a political enemy, former spouse or labor union leader. For these situations, Cristal offers an alternative paradigm of three elements: allowing for the emotional component of “freedom to hate”; replacing for working purposes the concept of trust with that of respect; and building trust in the process rather than in the good faith of the other side. These steps, he argues, can make some of the most difficult negotiations workable.
18. Reputation in Negotiation
Catherine Tinsley, Jack J. Cambria and Andrea Kupfer Schneider
Time was when a Formica plaque could often be found on the desk of a certain type of negotiator. It said “Yea, when I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.” But is it really to your advantage to have a reputation as one of the junkyard dogs of negotiation? The authors approach the question from three very different starting points. Tinsley summarizes the research on reputation in controlled settings. Schneider turns to real-life reputations of lawyers in action. Finally, Cambria shows how the life-and-death negotiations which characterize the work of the New York Police Department’s Hostage Negotiation Team have led to a new understanding of reputation. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Lewicki on Trust and Hollander-Blumoff on Relationships.
19. Apology in Negotiation
Jennifer Gerarda Brown and Jennifer K. Robbennolt
Is “I’m sorry” the hardest phrase to say? Does it matter whether you mean it? This essay examines the critically important issue of apology, and how and when an apology can be helpful or harmful in a negotiation. Reviewing the latest empirical work, the authors discuss the purpose, type and timing of an apology, to ensure that any apology given accomplishes its goals. Note that they find that an apology offered cynically or casually may be worse than none at all. This chapter is closely related to Toussaint and Waldman on Forgiveness.
20. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Processes and Outcomes
Loren Toussaint and Ellen Waldman
How many negotiations are reduced to a numbers game by the unthinking responses of professional negotiators who don’t recognize what is really at stake for their clients? How many negotiators frame what “should” be achieved in the negotiation, conveniently getting around the fact that the agent can’t be paid one-third of an apology? Here, a lawyer and a psychologist together examine the evidence that forgiveness may be the single most desirable negotiation outcome in many situations, when measured by the physical and mental health of those involved—but that a lockstep push toward forgiveness in all disputes is neither possible, nor desirable. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Brown & Robbennolt on Apology.
21. Building Relationships as Negotiation Strategy
Rebecca Hollander-Blumoff
The author argues that relationships in negotiation can be simultaneously over- and under-valued. She locates a significant stream of argument to the effect that relationships should be developed almost for their own sake, or at least with an eye to long-term and repeated dealings—and finds another that focuses on the short term and implicitly if not explicitly devalues relationships. The author contends that there is a reasonably moral and thoroughly practical view in between. Arguing that there is nothing wrong with admitting that one’s goals in a negotiation may fall somewhat short of true friendship or deep mutual understanding, Hollander-Blumoff notes that it is still productive and well worth the effort to form some level of connection with the other party. Even this modest step can smooth the rough edges, develop better information for the use of both parties, and make more agreements, and more creative agreements, possible.
22. Giving Future Generations a Voice in the 21st Century
Kimberly Wade-Benzoni
In today’s world, intergroup conflict transcends time and space as we face problems that affect multiple generations. Wade-Benzoni discusses how intergenerational contexts push the boundaries of more traditional conceptions of negotiations to include the reconciliation of conflicting interests between parties who may not exist contemporaneously. Furthermore, research on intergenerational conflict challenges the dichotomy between “self” and “other” interest. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Welsh on Fairness.
Trust is, of course, related to reputation. How a reputation is formed and why a trustworthy reputation is important, in far more settings than is commonly believed, are the subjects of the next chapter. Naturally, human beings being what they are, the effort to maintain a good reputation is sometimes going to involve making an apology, the subject of the following chapter; and perhaps if the apology is effective, forgiveness and reconciliation will follow, as they do in our book.
Of course, good negotiators are strategic animals, and it should not be surprising that there is a strategic element in building relationships—the subject of the next chapter. It may, however, be surprising to some that the need to strategize can become very long-range indeed. The final chapter of this section discusses why people increasingly must think not just about contemporary needs, but about how to ensure fairness, and their own reputation, over generations.
15. Trust and Distrust
Roy Lewicki
Can you both trust and distrust the other side? In fact, we often do exactly that. Lewicki provides practical advice on dealing with trust and distrust in each interaction. Of particular importance to negotiators facing troubled relationships, this chapter shows how distrust is not merely a mirror image of trust: it actually works quite differently. Effective negotiators must learn both to build trust and to manage distrust. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Tinsley, Cambria and Schneider on Reputations; Lewicki’s chapter on Repairing Trust; and Cristal on No Trust.
16. Repairing Trust
Roy Lewicki
Of course trust is important to build, and maintain. Yet inevitably, trust is sometimes violated. Here, Lewicki analyzes what happens in the wake of a trust violation, and offers prescriptions for a meaningful attempt to rebuild it. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Tinsley, Cambria and Schneider on Reputations; Lewicki’s chapter on Trust and Cristal’s on No Trust.
17. Negotiating in a Low-to-No Trust Environment
Moty Cristal
In the final chapter of our trilogy on trust, its development and repair, a "pracademic" with significant experience of high stakes conflicts assesses situations where it is not practicable even to try to build or rebuild trust—and yet a deal must be made, whether with a political enemy, former spouse or labor union leader. For these situations, Cristal offers an alternative paradigm of three elements: allowing for the emotional component of “freedom to hate”; replacing for working purposes the concept of trust with that of respect; and building trust in the process rather than in the good faith of the other side. These steps, he argues, can make some of the most difficult negotiations workable.
18. Reputation in Negotiation
Catherine Tinsley, Jack J. Cambria and Andrea Kupfer Schneider
Time was when a Formica plaque could often be found on the desk of a certain type of negotiator. It said “Yea, when I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.” But is it really to your advantage to have a reputation as one of the junkyard dogs of negotiation? The authors approach the question from three very different starting points. Tinsley summarizes the research on reputation in controlled settings. Schneider turns to real-life reputations of lawyers in action. Finally, Cambria shows how the life-and-death negotiations which characterize the work of the New York Police Department’s Hostage Negotiation Team have led to a new understanding of reputation. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Lewicki on Trust and Hollander-Blumoff on Relationships.
19. Apology in Negotiation
Jennifer Gerarda Brown and Jennifer K. Robbennolt
Is “I’m sorry” the hardest phrase to say? Does it matter whether you mean it? This essay examines the critically important issue of apology, and how and when an apology can be helpful or harmful in a negotiation. Reviewing the latest empirical work, the authors discuss the purpose, type and timing of an apology, to ensure that any apology given accomplishes its goals. Note that they find that an apology offered cynically or casually may be worse than none at all. This chapter is closely related to Toussaint and Waldman on Forgiveness.
20. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Processes and Outcomes
Loren Toussaint and Ellen Waldman
How many negotiations are reduced to a numbers game by the unthinking responses of professional negotiators who don’t recognize what is really at stake for their clients? How many negotiators frame what “should” be achieved in the negotiation, conveniently getting around the fact that the agent can’t be paid one-third of an apology? Here, a lawyer and a psychologist together examine the evidence that forgiveness may be the single most desirable negotiation outcome in many situations, when measured by the physical and mental health of those involved—but that a lockstep push toward forgiveness in all disputes is neither possible, nor desirable. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Brown & Robbennolt on Apology.
21. Building Relationships as Negotiation Strategy
Rebecca Hollander-Blumoff
The author argues that relationships in negotiation can be simultaneously over- and under-valued. She locates a significant stream of argument to the effect that relationships should be developed almost for their own sake, or at least with an eye to long-term and repeated dealings—and finds another that focuses on the short term and implicitly if not explicitly devalues relationships. The author contends that there is a reasonably moral and thoroughly practical view in between. Arguing that there is nothing wrong with admitting that one’s goals in a negotiation may fall somewhat short of true friendship or deep mutual understanding, Hollander-Blumoff notes that it is still productive and well worth the effort to form some level of connection with the other party. Even this modest step can smooth the rough edges, develop better information for the use of both parties, and make more agreements, and more creative agreements, possible.
22. Giving Future Generations a Voice in the 21st Century
Kimberly Wade-Benzoni
In today’s world, intergroup conflict transcends time and space as we face problems that affect multiple generations. Wade-Benzoni discusses how intergenerational contexts push the boundaries of more traditional conceptions of negotiations to include the reconciliation of conflicting interests between parties who may not exist contemporaneously. Furthermore, research on intergenerational conflict challenges the dichotomy between “self” and “other” interest. This chapter should be read in conjunction with Welsh on Fairness.
Section IV authors:
Jennifer Gerarda Brown is Dean and Professor of Law at Quinnipiac University. A.B. Bryn Mawr College, J.D. University of Illinois College of Law. Brown clerked for the Hon. Harold A. Baker, U.S. District Court (C.D. Ill.) and litigated at Winston & Strawn in Chicago before turning to academe. In 1994 she joined the Quinnipiac faculty. From 1997 until 2013, when she became dean, Brown served as Director of Quinnipiac’s Center on Dispute
Resolution. She has also served as a visiting lecturer and senior research scholar at Yale Law School. Her teaching and scholarship focus on ADR, LGBT rights, and lawyers' professional responsibility.
Jack Cambria retired from the New York City Police Department in 2015 after nearly thirty-four years of dedicated service. For over sixteen years he served in the Emergency Service Unit (ESU), whose primary focus is to provide rescue, SWAT, and counterterrorism services to the City of New York. He ended his NYPD career as the longest-standing commander of the Hostage Negotiation Team, serving in that capacity for over fourteen
years.
Lt. Colonel (R.) Moty Cristal is CEO of NEST, Negotiation Strategies LTD. A graduate of Bar-Ilan Law School (1994), and Harvard’s Kennedy School (1998), he has served on Israeli peace negotiation teams and gained extensive operational experience in complex and crisis negotiations, which he has since applied to business and governmental crises including in the cybersphere. Cristal is a Professor for Negotiation Dynamics at the SKOLKOVO business school in Russia and adjunct professor at the Coller School of Management, Tel Aviv University and at Arison Business School at the Interdisciplinary Center in Israel. He developed the Negosystem™ model to apply system thinking to complex negotiations.
Rebecca Hollander-Blumoff is a Professor of Law at Washington University, St. Louis. Her work focuses on law and psychology in the context of dispute resolution.Before becoming a law professor, she clerked for the Hon. Kimba M. Wood, U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. She also practiced law at Lankler Siffert & Wohl LLP. She holds undergraduate and law degrees from Harvard University and a Ph.D. in social
psychology from New York University.
Roy J. Lewicki is the Abramowitz Professor of Management and Human Resources (Emeritus) at the Fisher College of Business, The Ohio State University. He received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University in 1969, and has held faculty positions at Yale, Dartmouth and Duke. He is the author or editor of many research articles and books, including Negotiation; Negotiation: Readings, Exercises and Cases; Essentials of Negotiation; Making Sense of Intractable Environmental Conflicts; and Research on Negotiation in Organizations. He teaches and consults extensively in the fields of negotiation, conflict management, and executive leadership.
Jennifer Robbennolt (J.D., Ph.D.) is Associate Dean for Research; Alice Curtis Campbell Professor of Law and Professor of Psychology; and Co-Director of the Program on Law, Behavior, and Social Science at the University of Illinois. A leading scholar in psychology and law, torts, and dispute resolution, her research integrates psychology and empirical research methodology into the study of law and legal institutions. She is co-author of
several books, including The Psychology of Tort Law; Psychology for Lawyers; a textbook on Empirical Methods in Law; and the influential casebook, Dispute Resolution and Lawyers.
Andrea Kupfer Schneider is a Professor of Law at Marquette University Law School, where she teaches Dispute Resolution, Negotiation, Ethics, and International Conflict Resolution and is the director of Marquette’s nationally-ranked dispute resolution program. Professor Schneider has written numerous books, book chapters and articles on negotiation skills and styles, dispute system design, international conflict, and gender and negotiation. She was named the Outstanding Scholar by the ABA Section of Dispute Resolution for 2017. Professor Schneider received her A.B. cum laude from the Woodrow Wilson School of International Affairs and Public Policy at Princeton University and her J.D. cum laude from Harvard Law School.
Catherine H. Tinsley is a Professor at the McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University, and is Faculty Director of the Georgetown University Women’s Leadership Institute. She studies how factors such as culture, reputations, and gender influence negotiations, and how near-miss events bias people’s decisions under risk. She has served on three committees for the National Academy of Sciences, has published more than 50 peer-reviewed articles and book chapters, and has been on the editorial boards of The Academy of Management Journal, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, and International Journal of Conflict Management.
Loren Toussaint is a professor of psychology at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. He is a consultant to the Mayo Clinic, Cancer Treatment Centers of America, and Boise State University, and is the associate director of the Sierra Leone Forgiveness Project. Dr. Toussaint’s research examines religious and spiritual virtues, especially forgiveness, and how they are related to health and well-being. He and colleagues recently published a
compendium of research titled Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health (Springer). Dr. Toussaint directs the Laboratory for the Investigation of Mind, Body, and Spirit at Luther College (https://www.luther.edu/touslo01/).
Kimberly Wade-Benzoni is an Associate Professor of Business Administration and Center of Leadership and Ethics Scholar at the Fuqua School of Business at Duke University. She is an internationally recognized scholar in the area of intergenerational decisions, and has received numerous competitive awards for her research from the International Association for Conflict Management, State Farm Companies Foundation, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, and the National Science Foundation. She is co-editor of Environment, Ethics, and Behavior: The Psychology of Environmental Valuation and Degradation (1998) and has published widely in leading management and psychology journals in the areas of intergenerational decisions, ethics, and environmental issues.
Ellen Waldman has been a member of the Thomas Jefferson Law School faculty since 1992. Professor Waldman founded and supervises the school’s mediation program, which affords students and alumni an opportunity to mediate small claims and probate disputes. She is active on ethics committees in both the health care and mediation realm, and has taught conflict resolution and bioethics-related courses nationally and internationally. She has published over 25 articles and book chapters in the areas of alternative dispute resolution and bioethics, as well as the first book-length treatment of ethical dilemmas in mediation practice.
Jennifer Gerarda Brown is Dean and Professor of Law at Quinnipiac University. A.B. Bryn Mawr College, J.D. University of Illinois College of Law. Brown clerked for the Hon. Harold A. Baker, U.S. District Court (C.D. Ill.) and litigated at Winston & Strawn in Chicago before turning to academe. In 1994 she joined the Quinnipiac faculty. From 1997 until 2013, when she became dean, Brown served as Director of Quinnipiac’s Center on Dispute
Resolution. She has also served as a visiting lecturer and senior research scholar at Yale Law School. Her teaching and scholarship focus on ADR, LGBT rights, and lawyers' professional responsibility.
Jack Cambria retired from the New York City Police Department in 2015 after nearly thirty-four years of dedicated service. For over sixteen years he served in the Emergency Service Unit (ESU), whose primary focus is to provide rescue, SWAT, and counterterrorism services to the City of New York. He ended his NYPD career as the longest-standing commander of the Hostage Negotiation Team, serving in that capacity for over fourteen
years.
Lt. Colonel (R.) Moty Cristal is CEO of NEST, Negotiation Strategies LTD. A graduate of Bar-Ilan Law School (1994), and Harvard’s Kennedy School (1998), he has served on Israeli peace negotiation teams and gained extensive operational experience in complex and crisis negotiations, which he has since applied to business and governmental crises including in the cybersphere. Cristal is a Professor for Negotiation Dynamics at the SKOLKOVO business school in Russia and adjunct professor at the Coller School of Management, Tel Aviv University and at Arison Business School at the Interdisciplinary Center in Israel. He developed the Negosystem™ model to apply system thinking to complex negotiations.
Rebecca Hollander-Blumoff is a Professor of Law at Washington University, St. Louis. Her work focuses on law and psychology in the context of dispute resolution.Before becoming a law professor, she clerked for the Hon. Kimba M. Wood, U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. She also practiced law at Lankler Siffert & Wohl LLP. She holds undergraduate and law degrees from Harvard University and a Ph.D. in social
psychology from New York University.
Roy J. Lewicki is the Abramowitz Professor of Management and Human Resources (Emeritus) at the Fisher College of Business, The Ohio State University. He received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University in 1969, and has held faculty positions at Yale, Dartmouth and Duke. He is the author or editor of many research articles and books, including Negotiation; Negotiation: Readings, Exercises and Cases; Essentials of Negotiation; Making Sense of Intractable Environmental Conflicts; and Research on Negotiation in Organizations. He teaches and consults extensively in the fields of negotiation, conflict management, and executive leadership.
Jennifer Robbennolt (J.D., Ph.D.) is Associate Dean for Research; Alice Curtis Campbell Professor of Law and Professor of Psychology; and Co-Director of the Program on Law, Behavior, and Social Science at the University of Illinois. A leading scholar in psychology and law, torts, and dispute resolution, her research integrates psychology and empirical research methodology into the study of law and legal institutions. She is co-author of
several books, including The Psychology of Tort Law; Psychology for Lawyers; a textbook on Empirical Methods in Law; and the influential casebook, Dispute Resolution and Lawyers.
Andrea Kupfer Schneider is a Professor of Law at Marquette University Law School, where she teaches Dispute Resolution, Negotiation, Ethics, and International Conflict Resolution and is the director of Marquette’s nationally-ranked dispute resolution program. Professor Schneider has written numerous books, book chapters and articles on negotiation skills and styles, dispute system design, international conflict, and gender and negotiation. She was named the Outstanding Scholar by the ABA Section of Dispute Resolution for 2017. Professor Schneider received her A.B. cum laude from the Woodrow Wilson School of International Affairs and Public Policy at Princeton University and her J.D. cum laude from Harvard Law School.
Catherine H. Tinsley is a Professor at the McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University, and is Faculty Director of the Georgetown University Women’s Leadership Institute. She studies how factors such as culture, reputations, and gender influence negotiations, and how near-miss events bias people’s decisions under risk. She has served on three committees for the National Academy of Sciences, has published more than 50 peer-reviewed articles and book chapters, and has been on the editorial boards of The Academy of Management Journal, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, and International Journal of Conflict Management.
Loren Toussaint is a professor of psychology at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. He is a consultant to the Mayo Clinic, Cancer Treatment Centers of America, and Boise State University, and is the associate director of the Sierra Leone Forgiveness Project. Dr. Toussaint’s research examines religious and spiritual virtues, especially forgiveness, and how they are related to health and well-being. He and colleagues recently published a
compendium of research titled Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health (Springer). Dr. Toussaint directs the Laboratory for the Investigation of Mind, Body, and Spirit at Luther College (https://www.luther.edu/touslo01/).
Kimberly Wade-Benzoni is an Associate Professor of Business Administration and Center of Leadership and Ethics Scholar at the Fuqua School of Business at Duke University. She is an internationally recognized scholar in the area of intergenerational decisions, and has received numerous competitive awards for her research from the International Association for Conflict Management, State Farm Companies Foundation, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, and the National Science Foundation. She is co-editor of Environment, Ethics, and Behavior: The Psychology of Environmental Valuation and Degradation (1998) and has published widely in leading management and psychology journals in the areas of intergenerational decisions, ethics, and environmental issues.
Ellen Waldman has been a member of the Thomas Jefferson Law School faculty since 1992. Professor Waldman founded and supervises the school’s mediation program, which affords students and alumni an opportunity to mediate small claims and probate disputes. She is active on ethics committees in both the health care and mediation realm, and has taught conflict resolution and bioethics-related courses nationally and internationally. She has published over 25 articles and book chapters in the areas of alternative dispute resolution and bioethics, as well as the first book-length treatment of ethical dilemmas in mediation practice.